How To Know If You’re In An Unhappy Relationship


It is a difficult task to determine whether you are in an unhappy relationship or not. However, there are some signs which can help you figure out whether your relationship is heading in the right direction or if it’s time to say goodbye.

If you think that your relationship needs to be improved, then it’s best to take proactive steps and fix it before any major damage occurs.

With that said, how then can you know whether you are in an unhappy relationship? Keep reading to learn about some of the signals that will tell you if the spark between you and your partner is dwindling.

You no longer enjoy the company of your partner

If you are always looking for a company with people rather than your partner, is a sign of unhappiness with your relationship. For instance, you or your partner prefer hanging out with friends instead of spending time with each other. It clearly shows that they prefer their company to yours.

They always give lame excuses whenever you ask why they are not spending enough time with you. Most unhappy partners find it interesting to spend more time with friends which creates a gap between the two of you.

You no longer enjoy the company of your partner

Your partner starts to ignore you

Whenever you start assuming your partner’s thoughts and plans, it shows they are not engaging you enough in their lives. They stop involving you in their daily lives without any explanation.

Therefore, you are pursuing an unhappy relationship if you or your partner are giving each other a cold shoulder. An unhappy couple rarely attempts to connect with each other or these attempts are few and far between.

Your partner starts to ignore you

You stop arguing

You realize that you are unhappy with a relationship when it lacks communication, disengagement, and has a sour temperament.

Either they have tried to talk about it, but you are not listening or responding as expected. Or they are afraid of communicating their reasons. Effects of lack of communication include escalated conflicts and negative perspectives from your partner.

There may also be a disconnect, feeling unwanted, loneliness, reduced intimacy, and difficulty in achieving goals. Taking time to reflect on the state of your bond can help you determine if you need to make some changes to improve your relationship.

You stop arguing

You cease to appreciate

Unhappy partners criticize or belittle each other instead of acknowledging their efforts. If your partner fails to see your value in the relationship, then something is amiss.

If you find yourself doing the right thing and your partner does not acknowledge it, something is wrong.

Focusing on “me-ness” rather than “we-ness”

People often become defensive whenever they are not happy in a relationship. Being defensive in a relationship blocks connection and compassion, isolating you from each other. It means that your partner focuses on the “me-ness” instead of the “we-ness”.

The most dangerous and toxic aspect of a relationship is defensiveness, which leads to negativity. Defensiveness is an automatic reaction after feeling unfairly attacked or criticized.

However, if your partner is always defensive for minor criticism, then it means your feelings are not important to them. An unhappy partner will always ignore your desires and feelings.

Your partner becomes aggressive

Unhappy partners tend to concentrate on their temperaments that emerge after a while in a relationship. For instance, they develop cyclical arguments that are never resolved.

Some of these negative temperaments include fighting about money, housework, and even physical altercations. Instead of focusing on the situation and the solution to a problem, they always argue about the facts behind a conflict.

You no longer appreciate the attention your partner is giving you

When you see your partner as someone who steals your thunder instead of appreciating them for all they do for you. Then this is also a hint that there is something wrong with your relationship.

You start thinking of your ex

When you are unhappy, your brain creates a new reference point for what happiness feels like. You start comparing your current situation to how you felt with your ex-partner.

Your brain creates a new memory that details what happiness is in the absence of your current partner. Once this happens, it’s not hard to know that you are unhappy with your relationship.


Being in a relationship can be one of the most wonderful things in life. It gives you someone to share your hopes and dreams with. But when that person becomes a major part of your life, it may also begin to take a toll on your mental health because relationships are not always easy.

Relationships have their own unique ups and downs. It is natural that we all go through some sort of struggle at one point or another. What’s important is being able to recognize if the relationship can overcome these feelings or if it is time to move on.